No Bad Children
that whatever a child does, we may label as bad, the child is doing the best he
can. It’s our job as parents to ﬁnd out why [s/he is] doing it” Naomi
Understanding the meaning
behind your child’s behavior is one way for you to also grow. Really when we are
“Raising Our Children, we are really also Raising Ourselves.
Experts say that children
want to behave well; if they seem to miss the mark, it’s not without a valid
reason. There is deep reasons for all behaviour, certain thoughts and specific
feeling drive actions and behaviours. These can become habits over time and
some of them may annoy you but there is always a deeper reason.
How can you find the root
of the behavior ?
Learn to search for the
valid root of the negative behavior. We can investigate with questions, quietly
observe the habit over time, ask siblings and when it feels right even ask
directly what your child is feeling a while after the behaviour has happened.
When we know the cause, we can remove it and go about doing the important part-
heal the emotions – so the child won’t be driven to behave in that way anymore
when we do.
Is your child hitting her
sister for your attention? Maybe you stayed on the phone too long or ignored
her as you rushed to get dinner on the table. If so, what correction can you
make to your to own behavior that will satisfy your child’s need?
Don’t overlook behaviour
hoping it will pass. Parents may be trying to avoid conflict of confrontation
with their child. It could also be that they
expect too much. Remember this and try to be consistent with your
expectations because, parents often overlook a certain behavior in the hope
that it will pass.
As Aldort says, “A
lot of what we expect of children is unreasonable”.
Alluding to the idea that
adults often treat kids like adults but their
brains are nowhere developed to have a sense of adult reasoning. So they
cannot perform and deliver various ‘common sense’ actions or understand certain
instructions as easily as adults wish. They are often innocent and pure in
their impulsive reactions as these are what they need to learn from their
environment, trial and error…
A really good place to
look for guidance about how to consider the innocence and purity of your child
and his or hers behavior is in the field of Positive Parenting. Experts teaching,
practicing and emulating positive
discipline are leading example very consciously. Dr. Katharine C. Kersey,
the author of “The 101s: A Guide to Positive Discipline” says that
parents need to model the types of behavior they want their children to emulate.
Another key point is to focus
on controlling yourself, not your child. In serious flare-ups count to 10,
taking a deep breath or simply walk away to collect yourself because only when
you can manage your stress anger and frustrations can you stop feeding
misbehavior. One key turner for this is your voice… keeping your voice in check: instead of yelling that your child is
doing something wrong is extremely helpful, along with various strategies and
tips on how to communicate effectively.
By no means an easy feat,
parenting requires discipline itself, but most importantly a respect for your
childs’ vulnerability, innocence and purity. Try to hone this art of caring
with positive approach and lessen all negatively. It is possible to be a firm
and serious parent and loving forgiving at the same time. If you have any
confusion about that or queries on how to action you parenting style so it is
less harmful or even for support on the journey, get in touch with a
professional calming your nerves this way does wanders to your load and ability to parent with
respect, because really there are No Bad
free Gift “ Children’s Behaviour Secrets”
How to us
then to help them grow without damaging their sense of self, without criticism,
shame and blame. Includes
two powerful strategies to teach Powerful
Skills for Raising Boys; Why you need to stop bribing your child, The energy
drain turnaround, Quality time minimums, How and why to redirect, How to talk
to them the words to use and more.
Heleniq Argyrou www.heleniqa.com
Peak Performance Trainer,
Heartchild Family Ultimate Peak Performance Program Speaker firstname.lastname@example.org +357 99238660 /
+31611101757 Skype : Ahaintelligence